I’m sure you always try to do your best, as close to perfect as humanly possible. You may try to not show any weakness. You probably have a strong constitution. You work hard and fast. So, why don’t you feel successful all the time?
It could be unrealistic beliefs. These unrealistic beliefs may motivate us to act in ways that are self-destructive or self-defeating. We may set unrealistically high standards that almost always guarantee failure. As a result, we may develop a negative self-image as a person who constantly or consistently fails.
Do you suffer from any of these self-destructive beliefs?
To be perfect.
This drive pushes you to try to perform at a perfect level, an unrealistically high level, personally and professionally, and anything short of perfection is unacceptable.
To be strong.
This drive restrains your expression of any vulnerable emotions like loneliness, sadness, or compassion. You feel like you can’t display a weakness on any front.
To please others.
This is when you seek approval from others. When you gain others’ approval you feel worthy, and if others disapprove of you, you feel worthless.
To hurry up.
This drive compels you to do things quickly, to always be rushing, to be impatient, and to do more than anyone would reasonable expect.
To try hard.
This drive pressures you to take on impossible tasks, to accept more and more responsibility, and to be an overachiever.
Please make some adjustments in your beliefs and minimize the personal damage. Accept a job that is well done. Also, it’s okay to feel vulnerable at times. Take some of the pressure off yourself and enjoy a pleasant personal and professional life.
Self-destructive beliefs sneak into our self-talk and self-concept and have a negative impact on our self-esteem. Change your thoughts and change your life.
If you or your coworkers are struggling with self-destructive beliefs, contact me at kit@welchlin.com and I will provide a presentation that will take the pain out of your gain.