We all have known people over the years that have short fuses, hot-tempers, and bad moods.  All of us get glum, get frustrated, and get down.  We need strategies to overcome these negative emotions.

Being aware of your feelings is an important and somewhat difficult task.  Many of us were taught to hide our feelings or to minimize or pretend we didn’t have them, like frustration and anger.

In order to be aware of your anger and express it appropriately, you must understand what makes you angry, frustrated, or negative, and be prepared to manage your emotions.  Consider these questions:  I feel angry, frustrated or negative when…  What happens?  Consider colleagues, customers, suppliers, and vendors and in what situations they make you mad or disappointed.

Once you have identified the issues, have some strategies ready, like asking a few “what” or “how” questions to understand better, or counting to 10, or taking deep breaths, or taking a break, or taking a walk, or any combination of these strategies to stay cool, calm, and collected.

Here’s another scenario.  Let’s say you are being harshly criticized or verbally attacked.  Try these strategies.  Imagine yourself protected from attack by a suit of armor, or an invisible cape.  Imagine the attack is something you can sidestep, a breeze that sails by without touching you, or an arrow that speeds by and misses you.

  • Say things to yourself about the other person.  “Something must be bothering them.” “Someone who says things like that must be stressed out by something.”
  • Say things to yourself about yourself.  “No matter what they say, I’m still an okay person.”  “I won’t let this bother me.  I’m a reasonable person.”

These thoughts will enable you to deal effectively with negative emotions.

Keep track of the situations that get you glum, get you frustrated, and get you down.

We all face disappointment and frustration dealing with coworkers, customers, family, and friends.  It’s your responsibility to recover and turn your frown upside down.  Create a list of methods and mantras and use it, so you don’t lose it.

If you and your coworkers could benefit from an engaging presentation on emotional intelligence, contact me at kit@welchlin.com, and I will provide an interactive presentation that will enhance your emotional intelligence.